We did the mash, we did the monster mash

The kids and I had a mummy dinner last night. What do you think of the cake?

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Baby Baby Baby

KC came to utah a few weeks back and I finally got to meet baby Holland. She is absolutely adorable and I swear she really did like me. She was all smiles until the camera came out. KC is such a cute mom but it still seems unreal that my friend from way back when has a tiny version of herself. Holland looks exaclty like KC when she smiles, same dimples and all but the moment she is serious so looks like her dad. I'd say thats a pretty good mixing of DNA

Holland I loved meeting you, even if you wouldn't smile for the camera. KC, thanks for giving me 3 hours of your utah trip and for the pictures. Love you both!!!

Its amazing to me how our bodies and minds work. How we are capable of pushing aside pain and feelings until the proper time. Sometimes completely unaware of what is going on inside our own bodies. Im not saying I didnt know these feelings existed but I am surprised that I am able to surpress my feelings about Hutch. I know I miss him and how heartbreaking it is that he is gone, but until I sit and picture him in my head, I think im ok. The truth is when someone passes away we never forget and honestly I dont think anyone is ever ok. But life does go on and we are some how able to push our feelings aside. They never go away, and it is never made right but slowly we feel less and less. Until you stop and think

Thats my problem.

Im thinking.

It has been 2 years since Hutch passed away and as I let myself think of how much I love and miss him. How much I wish he could spend everyday with his beautiful wife and daughter. It hurts.

Kara- I can only imagine what it is like for you. I admire you so much for your strength and positive attitude.